So, the plan is for this goal to be specific and measurable; I’ll start out by putting in one hour a week of nonschool/nonwork writing. I’ll work on outlining for now, count poetry work, and let it all lead up to the glory that is Nanowrimo! We’ll see how it goes from there. I think I’ll theme on the myths of my childhood i.e. how I misremember growing up… my version of my little life.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
So, seems silly but I’ve always wanted to say I did it. Not that it proves anything, but I do consider myself to be pretty up to date. I mean, my addiction to Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me has to be doing something for me. Besides that I love word games. On the downside, sometimes I totally blank on things I don’t care about or find the easy way out. This will be an interesting little challenge. It may take several puzzles, but I’m well on my way.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
91. Thoughtful complements from out of the blue
92. VW Bugs
93. Roger singing nothing in particular
94. Shopping for really good looking fruit and veggies
95. Massages (from Roger or a masseuse)
97. Being honestly asked for advise and listened too
98. Clean laundry smell
99. Candles, lots and lots of flickering candles
100. Money j/k not worrying so much
So, really this is getting better under the be a better wife, to summarize, the goal is cook a meal twice a week for one month. Today was a great start by actually going to an international farmers market and getting things I’d like to eat; like water cress for Roger. I am really hoping that by having foods that are super yummy but way healthier it will be easier to kick start this area of personal progress.
In looking over my list, I can genuinely say that indeed, I feel like I have stopped worrying. Not entirely, but I definitely let a lot more things go. Ironically, a big help in this has been working being ok with letting myself be angry about things. I’ve never been very comfortable with the idea of being angry, but it is a good thing when done in a healthy way. As in, I feel angry that things didn’t turn out. This is much better than an hour of worrying about how I should/could/would’ve done something different. I just acknowledge that this is how I feel, and that that is an ok thing, and move on with life. Weird how healthy and easy that sounds. You have no idea how tricky it is not to feel guilt for the anger that is replacing the worry. Maybe being a therapist is going to be way trickier than I thought.
Hmmm, good goal, poor definition. I’m going to break it down into a couple areas and see if I can tackle it from there. I know, I know, it’s secretly a case plan. At least I can check in with myself to track progress. Plus, I can always edit depending on Roger’s reactions ;)
A. Domestic improvement
1. Cook two meal at home each week for one month
2. Clean two rooms each week for one month.
B. Partnership Improvement
1. Budget better by checking in with Roger sit down style once a week for a month.
2. Walk the dogs twice a day for two weeks.
C. Romantic Improvement
1. Improve my own self esteem by doing something that makes me feel pretty daily for two weeks.
2. Demonstrate my love in a tangible form three times a week for one month.
So, to update my progress, I’ve managed to go to yoga twice this week 45 minutes each, and on Friday I did 30 minutes of Cardio before my afternoon appointment. So… looking good. This week’s already off to a bang with 40 minutes of walking with husband and dogs while the laundry dried. So far, so simple and oh-so-good!
So, after waiting several long months, it was finally time to go see the Capitol Steps. I was absolutely thrilled. My friend's sister was celebrating her birthday and so an amazing white bean chili was prepared before the adventure. After laughing so hard I almost cried and nearly every song and enjoying the ad libbing the actors threw at each other, it was time to go home. Or, actually, back to our Ikeaite friends' house for ice cream and brownies. Talk about a lovely evening. I, of course, being the early bird I've had to be lately to get to Yoga (yes, I'm going twice a week at O'Dark Thirty) fell asleep on the couch. At any rate, I highly recommend the show to anyone who can go.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
81. Re-Inventing Myself
82. Having the cosmetologist wash my hair
83. A new haircut
84. Being back to red
85. Fitting a 14 when it’s usually 18
86. My nose
87. Being thankful for the parts that don’t fit the shirt right
88. Being able to say “I’m Angry”
89. Reading a waste of time magazine
90. Surprising someone with a special act
So, long story short a combination of lack of funds, stress, lack of time, self loathing and general malaise had led to a pretty pitiful state of self. Thus, the mini-make-over in a desperate attempt to feel pretty. Lucky me it worked pretty well so far. Did the hair, the nails, new outfit, feeling pretty good about it. Hopefully there will be a trickle down effect to other areas of life as well. Maybe I'll even write a poem.
Here's the one I like best but you can't see the whole outfit:
Monday, January 21, 2008
71. Crossing stuff off lists
72. My friends’ crazy schemes
73. My crazy schemes
74. My new light therapy light bulb for cheap from Home Depot
75. American Gladiator… I’m inspired
76. Not hating how I look in my reading glasses
77. Paying someone else to clip dog toenails
78. Silly old pictures
79. Getting to try some assessments on myself
80. Hot dates
So, after slacking forever, I requested the silly addresses. I’ve had the goal of sending 20 postcrossing.com for a while and lack only two cards. As mundane as it may be, when I actually get the new cards in the mail I know I’ll be uber stoked. It really is like a magical surprise package in the mail, and I could use some happy surprises in the never ending fight for emotional well being. I’m trying the whole Dark Night of the Soul idea but lately I can’t even bring myself to write mediocre poetry. Maybe I’ll spend some more time editing the older stuff. Who knows, maybe I’ll start writing it on postcards to random people from Postcrossing.com
Saturday, January 19, 2008
OK, for emotional health and to fight depression, the plan is 8 hours a night. That means I’ll have to be in bed at a certain time, and then roll out when the alarm goes off. No more sleep all weekend or just get two hours in one night. I’m hoping this really helps. I’ll give it two weeks as the time cap.
61. Faked expertise that even convinces myself
62. Roger with a new tech toy
63. Sharing political frustration
64. Political activism
65. Greeting cards
66. Finally catching up
67. Feeling productive
68. Getting the bargain
69. Win win compromises
70. My business cards
41. Our trip to Brazil
42. Being family just because I love their family
43. Not being trapped in perpetual heat exhaustion
45. Stafford Loans
46. Finding therapy
47. Providing therapy
48. Old romantic files
49. Fresh mangos
50. Peca Pal
51. Trying new things
53. Siblings only laughter
55. Not having to cook
56. Diet Dr. Pepper
57. Being Ok with not knowing
58. Positive peer pressure
59. Having someone tell my I’m driven like it’s a good thing
60. Ms. Tene Tene
31. People finding me on MySpace
32. My group
33. Photo montages by me.
34. WiMax (My dachshund). *old entry, no jealousy*
35. Ceiling fans at night.
36. My mom's laugh.
37. The way my sister describes a favorite author.
38. Having someone pet my hair.
39. Finding Roger's foot under the covers.
40. Funky looking toys.
I’ve decided this would be good for me and I think I’ll enter them ten at a time to keep it a reasonable goal. These were the first ten I wrote a year ago
1. My husband’s smile
3. Our new Mac
4. Living in a home with central heating
5. Julie being so excited about getting married
6. My little brother was so worried about me being ill he would risk getting fired to take care of me.
7. My co-workers caring about me as a person.
8. Sending Postcrossing postcards
9. Recieving Postcrossing postcards
10. Playing on 43things