Thanksgiving Escape

Today may not have been the most typical of Thanksgivings, or, maybe it was. I'm too exhausted to type much, but lets just say it included a tire swing, for one thing.


It started bright and early with some work on the cherpumple (full briefing on that to come tomorrow)


It was a great chance to kick back with some immediate and extended family.


Even better, it included a tiny man being paraded with a lovely parasol.


Back to family time. I'd love to hear about yours. Special thanks to Aunt Sweet Sweet for the lovely pictures.

Family Time, Sister Time

This afternoon we arrived at my parents' house for our Thanksgiving trip. Time for some super duper family time. My family has always been close, but geographic proximity makes it feasible for get-togethers to happen with more regularity. Lately, I've been taking advantage of this time to get a little less time in with my son.

I know, it sounds bad at first, but lets be honest. The brand of parenting I have chosen involves me being within arms reach of my son almost constantly. I was doing the math the other day and thought part of the reason I get so tired of being with my son is that I am pretty much always with him. There are plenty of awesome parents who see their child for an hour or two in the morning, drop them off with another care provider for the work day, then spend a few hours with them in the evening before they drift off to the blissful twelve hours of sleep they are oh-so-lucky to experience. Lets just say that, by my own choice, this is not my experience. I am not saying these parents don't also deserve a break, I'm just saying I'll let myself off the hook a little here.

The point of all this is to say that I had two hours or so of shopping time with my sister-in-law. I love that this was some of the best "Family Time" I've had in a long long time. Not to take away from time with my son or husband, or even the large family gatherings where eight or nine of us gab in a glorious pun making riot of hilarity based on jokes that someone misheard and referenced twelve years ago. This is different. Sure, I've known her for seven or eight years, but she's a fresh face, someone who isn't obligated to love me.

I have always treasured my biological sister, and since high school the sisterhood of Sukwat, but I am particularly grateful right now for a sister-in-law with whom I can be my complete honest self. I am so thankful for her ability to share wise and kind words and still make me laugh. I wish everyone could be so blessed as to have their family blossom with flowers as fragrant as she.

What is "Family Time" like for you? Does quality family time involve different people at different times for different reasons? How? Why?

Thanksgiving Limerick

My family has a veritable plethora of odd traditions, some of my favorites include silly things like how sentimental it is to wrap something in a paper grocery bag (which are getting pretty hard to find these days), or rules like "No singing at the table!"

My personal favorite is what my family says just before we eat our Thanksgiving feast. Some years we say the things for which we are thankful, or some other borrowed tradition, but every year, without fail, we gigglingly make eye contact and chant in unison:

There once was a finicky ocelot
who all the year round was cross, a lot
except at Thanksgiving
when he enjoyed the living
'Cuz he liked to eat cranberry sauce a lot.

I have no idea who really wrote this little poem. I tried finding it, but have found some conflicting theories. My best guess is Eve Merriem. If I'm wrong, feel free to point it out (there's a first time for everything...). I'm pretty sure we started saying when we were much much younger due to our mother's amazing home schooling. We each memorized a poem every week, and although I've forgotten hundreds, a few gems, like this one, have stuck with my siblings and me through the years. My other favorite for fall would be:

The leaves are green, the nuts are brown.
They hang so high, they won't come down.
Leave them alone 'till frosty weather,
then they will all come down together.

The sheer glee of this tradition is not the wittiness of the poem, or even that we do it every year in a blissful sense of togetherness. For me, at least, it's how we almost always forget. It's the look on any new comer's face. It's knowing my son will hear it a great deal more clearly than he did last year.

What's your favorite holiday tradition? What's your favorite poem?

Of Puppies and Penguins

Today was the first day where I can honestly say my son chased our dogs. Up 'till this point, they have simply co-existed. I was really a little scared about bringing a baby home to two dachshunds. They are a breed that is supposed to not be "good with kids." What was I supposed to do about blending a new human into a home that was half canine? I read all the articles I could find on the topic and tried to follow the advice. I sent home baby-smelling clothing before bringing Jax to meet them. I came in and played with them before bringing him in to be sniffed, the whole nine yards.

Early on in their relationship, they mostly just whined when he cried, and otherwise ignored him. The only other way you would know they knew he existed was the fierce defensiveness if someone got close to the baby when I wasn't holding him. That, and the need to sleep next wherever he was sleeping. Then there was the licking during tummy time, but generally, I think they just thought he was a really ugly, really dumb, new member of our little pack.

I should note that our dogs are not the most identical, though a matched set they may be. WiMax is half standard size wire haired dachshund and half friendly-neighborhood-terrier. We rescued him from the pound when he was about a year old. About a year after that, my mom found a miniature wire haired dachshund with "macaroni penguin" eye brows on petfinder and soon we added Isadora, an old lady with bad teeth, to our family. WiMax is very smart and learns quickly; the sort of dog that could work in movies if his humans would invest a little more time. Isadora's only trick is to drag cute outfits from her bin for you to put on her so she gets more attention.

In practice, this has meant that WiMax is unimpressed with the baby, but that Isadora would desperately seek his attention... or any attention... from anyone. She would scootch up to the edge of the blanket where Jax was playing so that his feet might *accidently* bump into her, thus constituting rubbing and petting, and therefore doggie validation. To be fair, WiMax has taken a much greater interest in being in close to proximity to Jax any time self-feeding is involved. Jax has rewarded this interest by noting, and reinforcing, the amusing dance-of-the-hind-legs that WiMax is more than happy to perform when food is involved.

But, back to today. I have been waiting for real, genuine, amusing interactions, and today really qualified. It was a bizarre little dance of army crawling and chubby fists grasping at tufts of ear fur. Lunges into a dog bed and stolen cheek lickings amused everyone. I'm sure there will be many giggles and tears to come. I'm sure there will be more germ swapping and probably a bit of nipping as everyone figures things out. I'm just excited to watch some sibling bonding between my fur kids and my bald one.

Do you have kids and pets? In what order did they join the family? How did you introduce everyone? What are your favorite moments with your pets?

Schrödinger's Penguin: Getting Baby on Tape

The observer effect is a pretty well known theory. The idea goes like this (if you're willing to oversimplify... of course, I am), just the act of observing something changes it. I have found this to be only too true when attempting to document my infant son.

Early on, I knew he couldn't REALLY understand what I was trying to do. I knew to him the seizure inducing flashes of light were just an odd quirk of his reality. As he got a little older, he learned to squint at the red-eye light, and now, well, now he's just a ham. Sometimes, you capture what you expect, like how he feels about Zucchini:

The part of this I understand, is his predictable reaction to my documentation efforts. The part that amuses me is the Schrödinger's cat part. The part where you don't really know what you've got 'till you bust open that box and find out. The first amusing version of this came early on when I tried to document his amusement with lion sounds:

Most recently, I was trying to capture his adorable clapping (it inspired a whole post). Instead of the amusement of reinforced clapping, I got this:

Honestly, it's the unpredictability that amuses me. Much like the cat in the box, I'll have to think of my grandfather's answer "The only good cat's a dead cat." So, for me, maybe the only best video's a funny video.

What has trying to document people taught you? Do you ham for the camera? Ever look for the camera you JUST KNOW must be there?

Deep Thoughts of a Shallow Swimmer

I have long claimed that the best compliment I was ever given was this "Most people just think really shallow thoughts about deep things, but you think really deep thoughts about shallow things." I hope that, to some extent, this is still true about me. I hope that as the days go by, I don't just passingly contemplate the meaning of life, I would hope that, instead, I really dig into the here and now; that I treasure the little things. With that thought in mind, here are my Top 11 Little Things.

11. Tags. My son loves how they look and feel. Given almost any toy with a printed tag attached, he will feel it and stare at it. I'd like to think he's having a very positive interaction with print and that it is good for all those pre-literacy skills. If nothing else, he loves they way they all feel a little different.

10. Teeth on Cloth. Although I could write an entire post about my son's recent vampiric ways, his fascination with biting cloth has really intrigued me. He has figured out that biting the skin under the cloth is bad, but I've let him play with just grasping the top layer of fabric with his teeth. He's really good at this. I can't think of a time when this will be a really important skill for a tiny vegetarian, but it's interesting to to watch.

9. Fractals in Velcro. With my son in cloth diapers, I spend a lot of time staring at velcro tabs. I have recently noticed that they attract strings and dog hairs and what not in almost perfect fractal shapes. I have had some interesting flash backs to working for the math teacher in high school... I've always been interested in patterns, and this is an odd place to discover one.

8. Wrinkles and Freckles. Jax loves staring at my face, and more recently his face. We've spent quite a bit of time looking at ourselves in the mirror. I have always hoped I would have happy wrinkles around my eyes and have been delighted to see a sort of permanent smile emerging there. Even more intriguing is the way these wrinkles start to hide some of my freckles. It's like a new set emerging as others are hidden; getting to discover a new skin pattern all over again.

7. Gurgling. I have never been able to make the cool wookie sound like my husband. Jax makes it often when babbling. I have had an interesting time exploring my glottal and vocal control in imitating his visualization. As with learning Portuguese, I'm intrigued by the sounds I simply cannot seem to make with the accuracy I desire.

6. Puree. Mashed up foods have been sliding down my gullet for decades, typically thanks to my amazing teeth. Pre-mashing food with intent to serve is a more recent amusement. The variety of texture in "baby" food and pureed foods is really amazing. You'd think by the time you blended something to a liquid form, that the consistency would be, well, more consistent. The difference between a squash, a sweet potato, a banana, and a pear are really something to behold.

5. Hair Color. I'd never really had dark hair before this September. I've been pretty much a dozen shades from blond through red, but but dark brown was something new, and mostly, for the Miss Klingon Empire beauty pageant (which I'm sad to say has since turned into a Star Trek Universe pageant and hence gets judged on things like... well... beauty). At any rate, I am amazed that no matter what color my locks are dyed, folks seem to be fairly equally split on whether or not they like them that shade. I, for one, don't really care. I tend to like red best, but, given the culture freedom to do so, would go back to being clean bald.

4. Nails. I like having nails longer than my finger tips so I can make my favorite sound. I discovered while taking piano lessons in eighth grade that my teacher had fingernails which made the slightest click as she played each note. I adore this sound. Just the light tap of a fingernail on the ivory before the note sounds. Lovely.

3. Asphalt. While on the topic of odd favorites, my favorite smell by far is asphalt when it first starts raining. I'm sure this is some sort of noxious chemical fume that is causing cancer in lab rats by me merely mentioning it. It is just such a friendly smell, reminding me of a barefoot childhood, running up the road towards the house to escape the summer soaking and, instead, splashing about in a frenzy of muddy puddles and slick cool grass between our toes. For now at least, just the smell in a parking lot will do.

2. Jumping. I love to jump. Trampolines are especially fun, but really, I just like hopping and skipping. (I admit to enjoying these much more when I'm in better shape and not encumbered by certain parts of my anatomy which serve to nourish my son's tummy and my husband's eyes). I love the moment of weightlessness before tumbling to earth. I adore the rules of physics that mean I tug equally hard on the earth to join me as it does to bring me back down... but it wins because despite my current obese state, the mass of the earth is still greater. Most of all, I love how it brings out the wiggling giggling inner child in me.

1. Sharing. I like to share my words and thoughts. I don't really need everyone to read them, or anyone to really care about them, but I love the idea of the nebulous "someone" being a part of my innermost dialog. I get little chills that the power of the internet means someone somewhere might be sharing my world. I love the power of being literate meaning I can share in their world when they comment. I like that it makes a window from my world, no matter how dark, to peak and and see the rainbow when it comes.

Party Like It's Your *1st* Birthday

Since my son was born last January, I've attended about a half dozen various birthday celebrations for young children. I have really enjoyed them all, and been honored to get to attend. I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do for my son's first birthday. I'm excited because, being his first, he won't really remember it or even care at this point, so it's really a "We've survived a year with this baby!" party for my husband and me. On the other hand, there are a lot of societal and cultural expectations. This has lead to the quiet voices in my head, you know, the ones who get over time for worrying about the ratio of wild blackberry prickers to kudzu in my back yard, to thinking.*

Disclaimer: No, I'm not totally freaking out about this... no, I'm not really worried what "people" will think... no, it's not that big a deal... yes, it was a fun thing to consider enough to make into a blog post.

Top 11 1st Birthday Worries

11. Mediocrity. What if it just isn't good enough? Who gets to judge? Is there a secret panel that investigates the quality of parties. If so, how do I get that gig?

10. So Silly (and not in the good way).What if people think I'm silly for having a first birthday party? The party industry certainly thinks it's a good idea, but what if people think I'm just trying to show off? What if it sets some bizarre precedent? Again, do I REALLY care what "people" think? Especially if these are the sort of people willing to be suckered into a kid's first birthday party?

9. Location, location, location! It's going to be cold in late January, and our little house and two barking dogs plus probably visiting relatives indicates some other option should be considered. Too little for Pukee Queso's, but too many kids to do a sit down restaurant... hmmm.

8. The Who's Who of Attendees. I hate to make someone feel obligated to attend or send a gift. I also hate for someone to feel they were intentionally excluded. I want everyone to come, but how much cake can we really afford to make?

7. Tell the World? Homemade paper invitations mailed out seems lovely. and pricey. and time consuming. Mass e-mail/facebook seems to impersonal and possibly greedy. Etiquette just ain't as simple as it used to be.

6. 'Tis Awkward to Receive. What's the best way to tell folks what to bring? Gifts aren't really neccesary, but I know folks like to give SOMETHING. Do we register? Make a "Wishlist?" Just tell folks his size (which is changing pretty much daily)? Is it a faux pax to tell people they can chip in towards a "big" gift like swim lessons?

5. Let Them Eat Cake! What if Jax breaks out in hives? What if we serve peanuts secretly hidden in the cupcakes? Who knows what might cause someone to fall ill? It will be a party to remember, for sure!

4. Apocalypse Then. I met a Mom when I was volunteering in New York in 2002 who had a support group for children who, like her son, had birthdays on 9/11. Many of them were dealing with a plethora of guilt and anger issues. What if something horrible happens that day and burns it into everyone's psyche as THAT day. Shoot I even if it's the day before, or the day of the party, that's pretty much bad news.

3. Thanks for Nothing. I seriously am pretty sure I still have people who have not yet received a "Thank You" card from my wedding or baby shower. I am tempted to avoid the whole thing just to make sure the situation doesn't get any worse. Oh, and if you're reading this "Thanks!"

2. Let Me Entertain You. How much entertainment should you plan? Background music seems like a good plan, and something for children to do, but I know folks who are so afraid of "games" that they avoid showers like the plague. (If you think the last statement smells fishy, I also know people who don't like to go to parties celebrating weddings and births...)

1. Thematics. I love a theme party. OK, I LOVE a theme party. Supper Club in high school? WIN! I mean, seriously, how could you not go the Hawaiian Luau as a marine biologist? How do I really decide? I think I've got it, but it's so hard to commit!

So, yo know you're dying to give your input. Tell me what you did. Tell me what you've seen done. I want to hear both sides: the sweet "just us" parties and the insane thousands of dollars puts-my-wedding-to-shame all out bashes.

* This split infinitive brought to you with lots of giggling on behalf of my sister, Aunt B.