Today was the first day where I can honestly say my son chased our dogs. Up 'till this point, they have simply co-existed. I was really a little scared about bringing a baby home to two dachshunds. They are a breed that is supposed to not be "good with kids." What was I supposed to do about blending a new human into a home that was half canine? I read all the articles I could find on the topic and tried to follow the advice. I sent home baby-smelling clothing before bringing Jax to meet them. I came in and played with them before bringing him in to be sniffed, the whole nine yards.
Early on in their relationship, they mostly just whined when he cried, and otherwise ignored him. The only other way you would know they knew he existed was the fierce defensiveness if someone got close to the baby when I wasn't holding him. That, and the need to sleep next wherever he was sleeping. Then there was the licking during tummy time, but generally, I think they just thought he was a really ugly, really dumb, new member of our little pack.
I should note that our dogs are not the most identical, though a matched set they may be. WiMax is half standard size wire haired dachshund and half friendly-neighborhood-terrier. We rescued him from the pound when he was about a year old. About a year after that, my mom found a miniature wire haired dachshund with "macaroni penguin" eye brows on petfinder and soon we added Isadora, an old lady with bad teeth, to our family. WiMax is very smart and learns quickly; the sort of dog that could work in movies if his humans would invest a little more time. Isadora's only trick is to drag cute outfits from her bin for you to put on her so she gets more attention.
In practice, this has meant that WiMax is unimpressed with the baby, but that Isadora would desperately seek his attention... or any attention... from anyone. She would scootch up to the edge of the blanket where Jax was playing so that his feet might *accidently* bump into her, thus constituting rubbing and petting, and therefore doggie validation. To be fair, WiMax has taken a much greater interest in being in close to proximity to Jax any time self-feeding is involved. Jax has rewarded this interest by noting, and reinforcing, the amusing dance-of-the-hind-legs that WiMax is more than happy to perform when food is involved.
But, back to today. I have been waiting for real, genuine, amusing interactions, and today really qualified. It was a bizarre little dance of army crawling and chubby fists grasping at tufts of ear fur. Lunges into a dog bed and stolen cheek lickings amused everyone. I'm sure there will be many giggles and tears to come. I'm sure there will be more germ swapping and probably a bit of nipping as everyone figures things out. I'm just excited to watch some sibling bonding between my fur kids and my bald one.
Do you have kids and pets? In what order did they join the family? How did you introduce everyone? What are your favorite moments with your pets?
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Monday, November 22, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Elimination Communication, or, Antarctica Reconsiders the Embrace of Diapers
Spoiler Alert: this post contains frank talk about urination, defecation, and bodily function in general. As in, I'm gonna tell you all about poop and pee and who does what where.
Ok, now that THAT is out of the way, I'd like to start by saying I like to defecate in the place of my choosing. I feel better when I do and, I find, it is much less messy than cleaning it out of my underwear and pants. Further more, I prefer that my dogs poop where I would like for them to poop. They hold their urges to go so long as I help them get to where they need to go before they give up and have to go where I'd prefer they not go.
I have found that the above paragraph also applies pretty well to my baby. He seems to feel better when he voluntarily empties his bladder and/or bowels. He seems more comfortable and we both find it to be less messy than my having to wipe smeared poo from the amazing amount of surface area it seems to occupy when I don't get him to the potty in time and he defecates in his diaper. He can hold his need to eliminate for longer and longer periods of time.
OK you say, this makes sense, sort of... except that your son is not even six months old! That is also true, but we have been practicing Elimination Communication, EC for short, since he was four weeks old, so, most of his short life. The practice goes by plenty of other names like Infant Potty Training, Natural Hygiene, and Diaper Free Babies to name a few. The basic idea boils down to this:
1. Babies can and do signal their needs for elimination much like their other needs, such as being hungry or hot.
2. Diapers are a fairly new invention and used mostly in Western cultures or for very young infants.
3. You can work with your child to develop an understanding to facilitate meeting their elimination needs.
Before you freak out and tell me I'm really messing up my child by forcing them to potty train before he is ready and that I'll permanently damage him etc. Let me share a few things that EC is not. It is not attempting to force a child to eliminate, or, to reward or shame a child for his elimination behaviors. It is also not an all or nothing endeavor. Jax wears a diaper almost all the time (although I know several children his age *and younger* who don't wear diapers at all in my monthly local group, Diaper Free Baby of GA/SC).
My Discovery
I stumbled across EC while pregnant and remember thinking "crazy hippies!" I mean, seriously, who tries to potty train a kid who can't get to the toilet? You're going to have to hold over the potty every time he needs to go?! I skimmed a few sites and forgot about it. I was pretty much too busy puking into my toilet to care about whether my son eliminate into it. I had found the cloth diaper world, why would I want anything more?
Then Jax was born, and I noticed he seemed to have a little bowel movement every time he nursed. Because I'm an info-holic, I was reading about this predictability *which is totally normal* and I came across a few references to EC. I spent an hour or two reading, mostly on the Diaper Free Baby website, and thought it sort of made sense. I was dealing with my son's elimination all day anyway, why should it matter if I held him over a toilet or spent twenty more seconds wiping his bum? Of course, I was totally sleep deprived and almost anything "sort of made sense."
Jax was sleeping, as four week old babies are want to do. I thought to myself, this site says babies usually go when they wake up... I'm home alone with the baby... I could try it and, if it didn't work, no one would ever have to know! So, Jax woke up, I took off his diaper and held him over the toilet and made the cue "Psssss sssss" sound. He urinated and then defecated. I almost did too. I literally stood their laughing like an idiot. What the crap? *literally* I could not believe it. He did it again when my husband got home and I was hooked!
My theory is this: any pee or poo that doesn't go into a diaper is poo and pee with which Jax and I don't have to deal. I'm not really worried about potty training, although it seems like it would be much easier with a child who knows when he's going and just has to learn the when and where; rather than working with children to learn when to go and all the places and times not to. The big benefit to me is knowing Jax is more comfortable, and that the two of us are more in sync.
What We Do
In the grand world of EC we're considered "Part Time ECers." Basically it means we don't go without diapers all the time, but we do it more than occasionally, in our case, every day. I'll do a basic break down for you. But do remember, this is just us, just what we, personally do.
When Jax wakes up in the morning, I take off his diaper and hold him over the potty. I cue him by talking about what we are doing "I'm taking off your diaper, it's time to go to the bathroom" and hold him over the toilet with my hands under his thighs and sing the potty song I modified... it goes to the tune of "This is the Way We Wash our Hands...."
"Where do we go to urinate,
defecate, urinate?
Where do we go to urinate?
We do it in the toilet!"
This makes me giggle pretty much every time. I borrowed it from someone who suggested "Where do we go to poop and pee..." but the nerd in me totally loves using the correct word for things. Now, he usually starts to urinate about mid song, if not, I'll further cue by making a "Psssss sssss sss" sound. When we first started he would wait for the cue sound. On a side note, he is often flatulent first thing in the morning, and, lately, will also have a bowel movement every other day or so.
Because I narrate almost everything Jax and I do together, I will then continue "you urinated here in the toilet. Does that feel better? I feel better when I urinate in the toilet." We then will put on a diaper and nurse or do a morning activity.
He usually takes the opportunity to urinate at any given diaper change and I will offer more often if he is kicking or seems fussy for no other obvious reason or just have the gut feeling that he needs to go. He pretty consistently will urinate the most upon waking up from sleeping. If we're going to be home, I'll use a BumGenius 3.0 with no insert or soaker so he can feel as soon as he is wet and get changed immediately. If I am consistent, and offer opportunities *or Pottitunities* at least once an hour, he will generally stay dry for a whole morning or afternoon.
I also try to give him some "naked time" when he is not wearing any bottoms, but is sitting on a towel or something "just in case" so we can both notice as soon as he starts to urinate. In the beginning he would just release and empty his bladder; now, he will just barely start and if I pick him up, he'll stop and wait 'till I get him to the toilet or his little Ikea LÄTTSAM Potty.
Take Away
Long story short, EC would be way easier if I could just hold Jax out any time he needed to go and it would fall somewhere, like the grass, where it wouldn't matter. Because we have carpeting, and generally wherever is not an acceptable location, we use a back up system. My Mom shared with me all about split pants being used with toddlers in China this way, and I have since read more anthropological information about how other cultures deal with children and infants eliminating. It's actually quite interesting.
I know EC isn't for everyone, and, I know it sounds weird and crazy to lots of folks. On the other hand, it works for us. When Jax makes a great big bowel movement in the toilet and grins at me, I grin back. He feels better and one swipe is better than five wipes. I also know I'm not hard core enough to just suck it up and deal with the misses of going 100% diaper free. I think that's the great thing about EC... it's not really about potty training, it's about communicating better with your child.
P.S. I just discovered this awesome blog today, Do-it-yourself EC, with posts on how to make some home-made EC stuff and I thought this would be the perfect place to link to it! It not only talks about EC, it's all crafty and sewy and stuff!
Ok, now that THAT is out of the way, I'd like to start by saying I like to defecate in the place of my choosing. I feel better when I do and, I find, it is much less messy than cleaning it out of my underwear and pants. Further more, I prefer that my dogs poop where I would like for them to poop. They hold their urges to go so long as I help them get to where they need to go before they give up and have to go where I'd prefer they not go.I have found that the above paragraph also applies pretty well to my baby. He seems to feel better when he voluntarily empties his bladder and/or bowels. He seems more comfortable and we both find it to be less messy than my having to wipe smeared poo from the amazing amount of surface area it seems to occupy when I don't get him to the potty in time and he defecates in his diaper. He can hold his need to eliminate for longer and longer periods of time.
OK you say, this makes sense, sort of... except that your son is not even six months old! That is also true, but we have been practicing Elimination Communication, EC for short, since he was four weeks old, so, most of his short life. The practice goes by plenty of other names like Infant Potty Training, Natural Hygiene, and Diaper Free Babies to name a few. The basic idea boils down to this:
1. Babies can and do signal their needs for elimination much like their other needs, such as being hungry or hot.
2. Diapers are a fairly new invention and used mostly in Western cultures or for very young infants.
3. You can work with your child to develop an understanding to facilitate meeting their elimination needs.
Before you freak out and tell me I'm really messing up my child by forcing them to potty train before he is ready and that I'll permanently damage him etc. Let me share a few things that EC is not. It is not attempting to force a child to eliminate, or, to reward or shame a child for his elimination behaviors. It is also not an all or nothing endeavor. Jax wears a diaper almost all the time (although I know several children his age *and younger* who don't wear diapers at all in my monthly local group, Diaper Free Baby of GA/SC).
My Discovery
I stumbled across EC while pregnant and remember thinking "crazy hippies!" I mean, seriously, who tries to potty train a kid who can't get to the toilet? You're going to have to hold over the potty every time he needs to go?! I skimmed a few sites and forgot about it. I was pretty much too busy puking into my toilet to care about whether my son eliminate into it. I had found the cloth diaper world, why would I want anything more?
Then Jax was born, and I noticed he seemed to have a little bowel movement every time he nursed. Because I'm an info-holic, I was reading about this predictability *which is totally normal* and I came across a few references to EC. I spent an hour or two reading, mostly on the Diaper Free Baby website, and thought it sort of made sense. I was dealing with my son's elimination all day anyway, why should it matter if I held him over a toilet or spent twenty more seconds wiping his bum? Of course, I was totally sleep deprived and almost anything "sort of made sense."
Jax was sleeping, as four week old babies are want to do. I thought to myself, this site says babies usually go when they wake up... I'm home alone with the baby... I could try it and, if it didn't work, no one would ever have to know! So, Jax woke up, I took off his diaper and held him over the toilet and made the cue "Psssss sssss" sound. He urinated and then defecated. I almost did too. I literally stood their laughing like an idiot. What the crap? *literally* I could not believe it. He did it again when my husband got home and I was hooked!
My theory is this: any pee or poo that doesn't go into a diaper is poo and pee with which Jax and I don't have to deal. I'm not really worried about potty training, although it seems like it would be much easier with a child who knows when he's going and just has to learn the when and where; rather than working with children to learn when to go and all the places and times not to. The big benefit to me is knowing Jax is more comfortable, and that the two of us are more in sync.
What We Do
In the grand world of EC we're considered "Part Time ECers." Basically it means we don't go without diapers all the time, but we do it more than occasionally, in our case, every day. I'll do a basic break down for you. But do remember, this is just us, just what we, personally do.
When Jax wakes up in the morning, I take off his diaper and hold him over the potty. I cue him by talking about what we are doing "I'm taking off your diaper, it's time to go to the bathroom" and hold him over the toilet with my hands under his thighs and sing the potty song I modified... it goes to the tune of "This is the Way We Wash our Hands...."
"Where do we go to urinate,
defecate, urinate?
Where do we go to urinate?
We do it in the toilet!"
This makes me giggle pretty much every time. I borrowed it from someone who suggested "Where do we go to poop and pee..." but the nerd in me totally loves using the correct word for things. Now, he usually starts to urinate about mid song, if not, I'll further cue by making a "Psssss sssss sss" sound. When we first started he would wait for the cue sound. On a side note, he is often flatulent first thing in the morning, and, lately, will also have a bowel movement every other day or so.
Because I narrate almost everything Jax and I do together, I will then continue "you urinated here in the toilet. Does that feel better? I feel better when I urinate in the toilet." We then will put on a diaper and nurse or do a morning activity.
He usually takes the opportunity to urinate at any given diaper change and I will offer more often if he is kicking or seems fussy for no other obvious reason or just have the gut feeling that he needs to go. He pretty consistently will urinate the most upon waking up from sleeping. If we're going to be home, I'll use a BumGenius 3.0 with no insert or soaker so he can feel as soon as he is wet and get changed immediately. If I am consistent, and offer opportunities *or Pottitunities* at least once an hour, he will generally stay dry for a whole morning or afternoon.
I also try to give him some "naked time" when he is not wearing any bottoms, but is sitting on a towel or something "just in case" so we can both notice as soon as he starts to urinate. In the beginning he would just release and empty his bladder; now, he will just barely start and if I pick him up, he'll stop and wait 'till I get him to the toilet or his little Ikea LÄTTSAM Potty.
Take Away
Long story short, EC would be way easier if I could just hold Jax out any time he needed to go and it would fall somewhere, like the grass, where it wouldn't matter. Because we have carpeting, and generally wherever is not an acceptable location, we use a back up system. My Mom shared with me all about split pants being used with toddlers in China this way, and I have since read more anthropological information about how other cultures deal with children and infants eliminating. It's actually quite interesting.
I know EC isn't for everyone, and, I know it sounds weird and crazy to lots of folks. On the other hand, it works for us. When Jax makes a great big bowel movement in the toilet and grins at me, I grin back. He feels better and one swipe is better than five wipes. I also know I'm not hard core enough to just suck it up and deal with the misses of going 100% diaper free. I think that's the great thing about EC... it's not really about potty training, it's about communicating better with your child.
P.S. I just discovered this awesome blog today, Do-it-yourself EC, with posts on how to make some home-made EC stuff and I thought this would be the perfect place to link to it! It not only talks about EC, it's all crafty and sewy and stuff!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Antarctica Embraces Cloth Diapers
Having a baby is generally not a total shock, you often get to know as many as eight or nine months ahead of time that someone of the diaper wearing age is about to join your family. (Notable exceptions being friends who adopt on short notice). Hence, I figured since diapering is one of the biggest expenses to accompany a new baby, I'd try to plan ahead to budget for it. Because I've been asked several times about our decision to use cloth, I thought I'd put my diaper notes together.
First things first, I'm by no means an expert. I've been doing it for six months and think it's pretty crazy easy, good for cutting down landfill junk, and a big money saver. Let me also preface this by saying that cloth diapering may not be for everyone. It works for us. It makes sense for us. I've had folks ask about it, and the best jumping off point I've found is DiaperSwappers.com; but you're reading this because you wanted to know what the Queen of the Penguins does with her chick.
What We Penguins Do:
We use BumGenius 3.0 one size and they’re pretty darn easy. I honestly chose them based solely on internet research before I knew anyone in person who uses any cloth diapers *other than the old school pins plus cotton square aka prefolds*. Anyway, these have snaps to size up or down so they'll fit for years, are structured like “disposables” with Velcro, use waterproof cloth on the outside, and have a microfiber soaker insert. We pull those out, and throw it all in a pail, dump it in the washer and wash once on cold (to rinse), then once on hot with about 2 Tablespoons of Rockin’ Green Detergent. (I currently love Smashing Watermelons in Classic Rock)
The wipes are just squares of cloth serged around the edges. I keep a squirt bottle with a couple drops of baby lotion and a couple drops of baby body wash to a cup or so of water and wet down wipes as needed. They get thrown in the diaper bucket. I also now use these for nose blowing and cleaning, they’re handy and one less disposable thing I’m throwing away.
I do diaper laundry about twice a week and have started drying them outside using these nifty octopus hangers, the Pressa, from IKEA. I also have a “wet bag” for the dirties on the road. I "strip" the diapers about once a month by doing a hot soak and adding a little bleach.
Why We Cloth Diaper:
I’d like to claim cloth diapering was all about the environment or what not, because that is important... but, really, it’s mostly about economics. Say you find REALLY cheap disposables for 15 cents a piece. Lets also say you use very few, like 8 a day (We tracked it, and Jax averaged close to 11 for the first few months and is now closer to 9 a day.) That means in one year you’re talking $438 (0.15*8*365). Plus however much wipes are.
Lets say you went over to CottonBabies.com and bought two twelve packs of brand spanking new bumGenius 4.0 diapers at $203.40 a piece for $406.80... (I’d suggest going with the recently discontinued 3.0 line, or going used at DiaperSwappers.com, or looking for a sale or deal, but lets just say, for the sake of argument, that you go new) and two sets of wipes at $11.95 each for $23.90 (again, not sure why you’d spring for brand new brand name pieces of serged flannel, but, say you do) that puts your total at $430.70 (free shipping).
If you add in the laundry costs, then it could, technically, be more expensive to cloth diaper. Until you add that second year, which doubles the cost of disposables and only the laundry prices for cloth... and, unless you really rock the EC and go diaper free, *see next post,* I’m betting you’re going to need diapers for closer to two years minimum.
To be more realistic, disposables seem to average closer to 20 cents a pop, we used closer to 10 diapers a day putting that total estimate at a much heftier $730. I also had no idea how to include wipes in the disposables pricing.
You could also use Econobum diapers with covers and prefolds from the same site and manufacturer for $99 (two sets of 3 diaper covers with 12 prefolds at $49.95 a piece) plus one set of wipes at $11.95 for a yearly total $110.95.
So, you could be talking $110.95 for cloth vs. $1,460 for disposables over two years... cloth diapering can be even cheaper than that if you go a bit more old school/shop around. Those are my quick thoughts and numbers, I'm sure there's plenty of room for variation. If you're local in Atlanta, you should check out Atlanta Diaper Service as an option and for info.
Oh, and on a total side note, cloth diapers come in about a million super cute colors/patterns/designs. They can pretty much function as bottoms during the summer, and offer a veritable plethora of fashion opportunities if you're into that for your "fluff."
P.S. Expect a bunch more New Mom blogging as I answer the most common questions I'm getting from friends and family. I'm not the expert, I'm just a new mom who is willing to share what I've learned so far.
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